April 17, 2006: The Rat that Roared

By Laura Mansfield

As the hawks in both Tehran and Washington continue to beat the drums of war, for some bizarre reason I find myself thinking about the 1958 Peter Sellers movie "The Mouse That Roared".

The Mouse That Roared is one of those "world on the brink of a nuclear holocaust" movies that everyone should watch at least once .

In that movie, a small European nation called Grand Fenwick discovers its economy starting to fail because the US is producing an imitation wine. The monarch has observed the massive rebuilding efforts that the United States undertook in Europe after World War II and came up with a startling conclusion: they would attack the US, surrender to US forces, and then collect a hefty foreign aid package. So their rag-tag army rigs up a tugboat, and uses it to launch an invasion of New York City.

But things go wrong, and they land in New York City in the middle of an air raid drill, so the streets are deserted. Despite their best efforts the army of Grand Fenwick can find no one to surrender to.

Finally they are spotted by a Civil Defense decontamination team in Central Park. The decontamination team thinks they are invaders from outer space because of their uniforms. Soon, word spreads all around the city that Martians have invaded in great numbers.

Meanwhile, the army finds themselves at the New York Institute for Advanced Physics where an eccentric scientist has built a working model of a powerful nuclear device called the Q-Bomb. The Army captures the scientist, his beautiful daughter, the bomb, a General, and four New York City policemen, and heads for home. The US surrenders, and Grand Fenwick is all upset because they are concerned that they will lose their much-anticipated foreign aid package.

I won't give away anymore of the plot, except to say that the movie is a good illustration of the axiom that "the best-laid plans of mice and men oft do go awry".

Now I truly wish I believed that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinezhad had intentions as simple as getting a huge foreign aid package from the US. In some ways, it's sad that he doesn't, because I imagine the US would be more than willing to buy him off.

I'm not sure that Mahmoud Ahmedinezhad is much more than a spokesperson anyway. The real power in Iran lies now, as it has since the Islamic Revolution in 1978, with the Supreme Leader, who is now the Ayatullah Ali Khameini.

Make no mistake about it - Ahmedinezhad may be the one whose mouth is moving but it is the Supreme Leader who is calling the shots. Ahmedinezhad was put in power in time to ack as the pawn to hawk the nuclear ambitions of Iran. But Iran's nuclear program was quietly nurtured behind the scenes for years before Ahmedinezhad ever dreamed of being president.

We have a problem with Iran. But do we know what the problem is? We don't have any evidence to date that they have really enriched uranium; we simply have Ahmedinezhad's word on that. But we're acting like we have proof positive.

They want a Global Islamic New World Order.

They don't want money. That would be too easy, although it would still be unacceptable. Coupled with their goal of a Global Islamic Government, it would amount to no more than Jizhya - protection money that non-Muslims pay to ensure their security in a Muslim world.

Iran 's goal is the spread of Islam throughout the world, in the form of a global caliphate. They share this goal with Al Qaeda's leadership.

That's something we cannot tolerate.

But as the Mouse That Roared illustrates, unexpected things can happen when one side doesn't understand the motivations of the other side.

And make no mistake about it - few in the United States truly understand what the goals of Mahmoud Ahmedinezhad are.

That's unfortunate. Let's hope it doesn't let to missteps on our part that cost many human lives on both sides.